In June, I introduced the She’s Friendly podcast. Moving forward, it will arrive mid-month (loosely) and expand on the monthly written newsletter. You can listen to the first episode on Spotify, Apple, or Substack. If you have questions, anonymous or non-anonymous, submit them here. Let me know if you would like to join me for an ep.
I have two affirmations taped on my bathroom mirror.
I am loved. I am worthy. I am enough.
We love you here.
My backyard connects to an alley which connects to a school pick-up and drop-off area. I can see the entryway to the school from my bedroom window. The kids that go there seem very small, and it’s common for the parents to scoop them up when crossing the parking lot. On the building, in all caps, they painted, “EXCEPTIONAL.”
On my phone, I have a stupid little app that sends me affirmation notifications. I also gave it a small billboard on my home screen, where it constantly cycles through random affirmations. The most resonant one was, “Other’s disapproval of my happiness is irrelevant to me.” But most of the time, it says things like, “I refuse to substitute wealth for happiness.” Totally boring!
Two out of three affirmation sources are self-made, but all of them go fairly unregistered.
When I first taped the affirmations to my mirror, there was a lot more, closer to a dozen. I do not remember what the others said, which says a lot. My goal was to flood the brain with affirmations, hoping that at least a couple would soak in. I guess the two that made it through did that.
I’m not sure I believe in the power of affirmations, but I certainly act like I do. I think that is because I know the power of denial or rejection. The negative messages don’t need visual reminders; they are well-saturated and mature. If these messages, filtered consciously or subconsciously, have that much hold and effect on my identity, there has to be hope for the opposite.
HOT – The smell of onions cooking in the background. Elvis impersonators. Showgirls. Gatorade Zero, Glacier Freeze. Phoebe Bridgers & Bo Burnham. Phoebe Bridgers & Julien Baker & Lucy Dacus. Grey rocking. Shania Twain.
NOT – Non-committal barks. Dehydration headache. Staining your new white shirt! The pharmacy. Selecting your size on the internet. Worrying about sweating and how it leads to sweating. Holding your breath in the public bathroom. A specific type of jean short.
I regularly make jelly thumbprint cookies.
Throughout elementary and high school, I would contribute these cookies for events. Later I brought them out for gatherings and parties.
My mum has a collection of British dessert recipe books. Inside one of them is the PERFECT recipe. I didn’t have the recipe for a long time and was using the internet, which was literally so annoying. A recipe is never a recipe on the internet.
But I just got the recipe. And I’m sharing it with you cause they are very good.
EXTRA THOUGHTS
Yay for egg-less desserts
I put Nutella in the middle when I was a little babe (or mixed it with the jelly).
I have done peanut butter for p-butter fans (#notme, #kinda).
Sometimes I roll the dough up and slice it for ease and less mess.
